The last few days haven't been great. Every morning I wake up and get an anxiety attack about...well just living another day I guess. I tried everything recommended to me before-like making a list, doing things straight away, but it just wouldn't go away. I ended up just being miserable till about 2 in the afternoon, when it would wear off a bit and I could do something. I've packed nearly half my stuff to move. Still need to buy some things. And the thought of having to think things through just makes me nervous. And when I am nervous I get nauseous. So I can barely eat, though I am really hungry. I am so tired of this, and I am getting angry. Everybody said I need to do something, to get a job. Maybe when I start I'll feel better but right now I feel horrible. I am not excited at all about working, I do not feel better, I am better than I used to be but it's still not alright, and I am angry. I spent so much money on therapy and it's helped only that little bit to make this tolerable, but when can I start living like a normal human being?!
And I wish someone would read this and comment something like it gets better, you're on the right track! Because lately I can't really talk to anybody about this. My friend who has bipolar disorder always just changes the subject to herself. I guess she's trying to distract me but it's getting really annoying because I just want to share what is bothering me and she just goes oh stop thinking about it, I'm cooking lasagna. Great!
I try not to tell my mom because about a month ago, when we had a conversation, she said it is really difficult to talk to me because I am always complaining and being negative. But that is how I feel! And she said my sister complained about the same thing. So I try not to talk about this with her either. But I just feel like I have nothing to say, because I literally do not feel anything good, and nothing really happens so I end up having nothing to say.
Today I got up and had anxiety and I tried to visualise my child self, thinking it might help, but I couldn't because the anxiety was too strong, I couldn't concentrate. I ended up listening to a hypnosis app 3 times, which did finally soothe me and I am feeling a bit better.
And I wish someone would read this and comment something like it gets better, you're on the right track! Because lately I can't really talk to anybody about this. My friend who has bipolar disorder always just changes the subject to herself. I guess she's trying to distract me but it's getting really annoying because I just want to share what is bothering me and she just goes oh stop thinking about it, I'm cooking lasagna. Great!
I try not to tell my mom because about a month ago, when we had a conversation, she said it is really difficult to talk to me because I am always complaining and being negative. But that is how I feel! And she said my sister complained about the same thing. So I try not to talk about this with her either. But I just feel like I have nothing to say, because I literally do not feel anything good, and nothing really happens so I end up having nothing to say.
Today I got up and had anxiety and I tried to visualise my child self, thinking it might help, but I couldn't because the anxiety was too strong, I couldn't concentrate. I ended up listening to a hypnosis app 3 times, which did finally soothe me and I am feeling a bit better.
