Yesterday I had one of these moments when I was watching something and a small detail made me get a knot inside again. It was a scene with a woman wearing red lipstick. I guess I thought that I should wear red lipstick too and be sexy, and it made me so anxious. Like it was the sign of all other women feeling comfortable with themselves, with being sexual. I couldn't possibly wear red lipstick. It would be exposing myself. Like putting myself out there when I actually feel like running and hiding. Even seeing it in a video, thinking of it made me panic.
I remember I used to wear red lipstick, now it's like a fucking feat.
I remember I used to wear red lipstick, now it's like a fucking feat.
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