On Saturday I went to an event - a Tedx conference. And getting ready to go I got nervous about it. I don't really know why. Maybe because I had spent several days at home because I was sick with the flu and going out was a big deal. A lot of the time when I get anxious I begin to procrastinate, and as a result I spend too much time getting ready and start running late. And then I worry about being late.
And here I sort of know why I was anxious getting ready: I got this idea that Tedx is sort of a big deal, so how should I dress? It sounds silly even to me but I geniunely got anxious about it. I didn't want to look too simple, but I didn't feel good and confident enough to dress up.
I dressed casual, something I normally feel comfortable in.
When I got there sure enough - the place was full of hipsters. And I felt so small. Like I was a teenager at a grown-up get together. I felt so out of place. I just couldn't get over that feeling.
Lately in general I have literally been obsessing over my clothes. Anything I wear I don't feel pretty. I have tons of clothes, far too many. And recently I've bought a lot of new ones, because I was stressed and resorted to "retail therapy". And I'd decided to get rid of some because the amount of stuff I have just weighs me down. But when I try to do it I can't make any decisions. I don't know if I look good in any of them, I don't know how I want to look, I think I don't have any style, I want to look cool but when I dress up I feel uncomfortable, like I can't pull that look off.
Just lately I've been feeling so unconfident. It shows on my face, I stoop, and everytime I look in the mirror that's all I see.
And here I sort of know why I was anxious getting ready: I got this idea that Tedx is sort of a big deal, so how should I dress? It sounds silly even to me but I geniunely got anxious about it. I didn't want to look too simple, but I didn't feel good and confident enough to dress up.
I dressed casual, something I normally feel comfortable in.
When I got there sure enough - the place was full of hipsters. And I felt so small. Like I was a teenager at a grown-up get together. I felt so out of place. I just couldn't get over that feeling.
Lately in general I have literally been obsessing over my clothes. Anything I wear I don't feel pretty. I have tons of clothes, far too many. And recently I've bought a lot of new ones, because I was stressed and resorted to "retail therapy". And I'd decided to get rid of some because the amount of stuff I have just weighs me down. But when I try to do it I can't make any decisions. I don't know if I look good in any of them, I don't know how I want to look, I think I don't have any style, I want to look cool but when I dress up I feel uncomfortable, like I can't pull that look off.
Just lately I've been feeling so unconfident. It shows on my face, I stoop, and everytime I look in the mirror that's all I see.
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